Always (Cape Hill Book 3) Page 4

  A scoff leaves Venom, his eyes wild with disbelief. “This man, this motherfucking scrapper has a son?” He chuckles maniacally. He’s losing it. He must be.

  “Yes.” I nod. “I’ve gone to school with him since we were kids.” I’ve lusted after him for years too. But there’s not a bone in my body that’d mention that tidbit.

  Roa attempts to raise his head and make direct eye contact with me again, but his eyes can barely stay open. He’s probably lost too much blood. That or the Vipers did a number on him. I’m sure it’s the latter with the bruising and visible swelling.

  “Well, sorry to tell you, Baby. This man is not only a fucking pig, he’s a dirty one. He’s working with Los Desolados.”

  The name.

  Los Desolados.

  The Desolate.

  Danté Soltero.

  My stomach lurches at the words, weak with knowledge and the realization of the man I nearly sold my soul to. I rub a palm down my face to hide the nausea building inside me, to hide the weak boy Danté convinced to rat on Sy.

  “He’s trafficking?” I ask solemnly. Now, it’s very apparent I can’t save him.

  “Yup, for that fucker, Danté.”

  I have the gall to walk over to Roa and lift his bloodied chin with my knuckles. Staring into familiar eyes with an agony that’s festered for months, I hope he’ll give me something, anything that’ll possibly save him.

  “Did you do it for money?”

  He attempts to shake his head.

  “Then why?”

  He gurgles around the words, but only one is clear.

  Brady.

  What the fuck does Brady have to do with this? He wouldn’t be involved with the Desolate. He wouldn’t dare fuck with this kind of darkness.

  Venom stalks behind me. “What’d he mumble?”

  “No fucking clue, man,” I lie. “He’s choking on his own blood. I say we cut him loose and use him in the future.”

  It’s the only thing I can come up with. It’s the only response that will give me answers.

  “How can we possibly use him?” Venom questions diffidently.

  “His son. We use him as leverage.”

  I’m sorry, Brady, but I need to know.

  “I like the way you think,” he muses, gripping my shoulder proudly.

  I don’t.

  She picked me.

  She loves me.

  I should be happy.

  Right?

  In a sense, I am, but wrapped in her arms, her longing kisses, her gentle words of love, and moans of passion when I bring her to completion isn’t enough.

  Maybe it’s because she won’t sleep with me or that when we mess around, she closes her eyes. I’m nearly nineteen and still a virgin. It’s not like I’m wanting to throw it at anyone. I just want her. My girl. My Lele.

  She holds back more than her body. There’s a part of her I want to dive into, but she hides it, keeping it in a desolate piece of her, where he still lives on.

  Since telling Danté in a rage about Leia and Sy, I haven’t seen him. Sy, that is. He’s not missing, I don’t think. He didn’t show up for graduation. I’ve passed by Xo’s on the way to work on several occasions and still haven’t seen a sign that he’s alive. Danté tried contacting me for information about his daughter, but I refused to be his little bitch. I let it go on for too long, too many years, too many guilt trips. With Sy gone, the fear of what happened eats at me. It shouldn’t, but it affects me more than I care to admit.

  Did Danté kill him?

  Did I make a huge fucking mistake out of anger?

  Will she ever forgive me when she finds out?

  I haven’t told her about any of it. Not that I’m the reason why Sy stopped talking to her after her sixteenth birthday. Not that her dad went to her eighteenth birthday party in P.R., and sure as hell not that I’m the reason Sy has up and disappeared. It’s not something I can bring up in the small time we have together or even at all if I want to keep her. She works nights, and I work days. There are only tiny gaps for us to spend time, and he’s not someone I’ll waste my tongue on.

  Usually, those times are spent with me worshipping her between her legs and cuddling her when it’s done. It’s been six months, and I’m still not accustomed to getting Lele off, or making her scream my name, or hearing her moans as I eat her out. It’s everything I’ve wanted, yet something’s missing.

  It’s like we’re in a pattern, one we’re slowly getting used to, but still stuck in an awkward stilted pace where Sy and Brady should be here, but they aren’t. Not for now, at least.

  I’ll be seeing Brady soon.

  This relationship between Lele and I is insanity. We’re hoping for a different outcome without changing the actions.

  She has tonight off. After an altercation with some dude at the Den, Venom has her taking some time away. What she doesn’t know is that he’s Brady’s stepdad, and I’m now involved. She doesn’t know I’ve been patched in, and she doesn’t know what I plan to do. When I get off work tonight, I’m going to fucking love her until she opens up to me, even if it has as much to do with distracting me and easing the nerves of my first task as a Viper than it does with her.

  I want to love her as much as before P.R., and I’ll do whatever I can to get back to that. Leia won’t hide from her feelings tonight. Tonight, she’ll know what it’s like to be loved by me. Fully. Without regrets. Without doubts. Without distractions.

  She’ll experience love and lust and everything in between.

  I tweak the bolt on Deaftone’s bike. Since meeting him at graduation, I’ve attempted to learn sign language, but mostly by Leia. It’s not the easiest nor the hardest language to learn, but it’s a healthy challenge I can agree to. He told me if I scratch Siren, I’d be in a body bag. Siren is his black beauty, his ride, his body’s extension, and apparently, the only thing he’d kill for.

  Since he doesn’t speak, he claims no one would ever be able to get the information out of him. Information like where he would hide my body if I hurt his ride. People know sign language—I told him this much, and he smacked me upside my head for getting smart.

  He’s growing on me.

  All the Vipers are. It’s like this is the home I didn’t realize I needed. It’s a family, and even though Ma will always be my mom, she picked Darryl again, and I haven’t seen her since. When Ma admitted she loved him even after all of the shit he did, I informed her Leia and I were moving into our own place.

  Danté gave me the money for the first few months since we were still in school and jobs weren’t easy to find in Cape Hill. Plus he owed me for what I did. Leia doesn’t know that tidbit. It was easy to lie and say I’d saved up for college, and she believed me.

  College.

  We decided to not start fall semester, with us barely getting a six-month lease on an apartment. Instead, we’d decide where we were going and attend from there.

  She’s been quiet about it.

  My fear that she’ll change her mind about attending the same school as me is fierce. She doesn’t talk about school like she once did. Her passion has dwindled away with the summer.

  Taking the eye-socket and twisting until the bolt falls into my palm, I stifle a groan at how worn his bike is.

  Isn’t this supposed to be precious to him? Yet, he hasn’t rotated his tires or changed them in far too long. There’s rust lining the gears, and even a little oil spillage. He doesn’t know how to take care of his baby. Rolling my eyes, I grunt when the other bolts aren’t releasing as easy.

  Fantastic.

  I hear him before I see him. Standing all tall and brutish, while I’m kneeling, trying to see why his tire’s rim is stuck to the bolts.

  “Why are you messing with his bike like that?” Venom’s voice comes out sharp and unapologetic.

  “Why doesn’t he treat his bike better?” is my terse response. It shouldn’t feel like it’s welded on like this.

  “Did you undo the nuts?”

 
“Do I look like a fucking amateur?” I bristle, wondering what crawled up his ass.

  At first, he was rough with me, but when I no longer took his shit, he seemed to enjoy my company. We even hung out outside of work. Today, though, he seems to be battling with his own demons, and they’re winning.

  “Sorry,” he apologizes gruffly, scratching his chin, the stubble lining it making an obnoxious sound.

  “It’s cool.” I play it off, when really, I’m irritated enough to smoke.

  Before being a part of the garage, I’d never imagined smoking. It started with a drag here and there and then transformed into a need. It helps me breathe easier and takes the edge off. Bones even has me smoking pot on the weekends, when Leia’s working doubles at the bar, and I’m restless. It’s that feeling of having something in your grasp but then realizing it’s already sinking through our fingers before you’ve had a chance to admire it and cherish it.

  So, I smoke. It’s relaxing, and I don’t even feel bad anymore… until Leia points out how stupid it is. She’s right, but count how many fucks I give. Zero.

  I need something, anything really, to make me feel in control because regardless of what the outside depiction of my life shows, it’s unraveling, and she’s falling away from me too.

  “How do you and Leia do it?”

  “Do… what… exactly?” My mind flits through all the things he could be thinking, but there’s no definitive subject matter.

  “Be… together. Like, be with each other even with all the obstacles.”

  His explanation still leaves me bereft of answers. Did Leia tell him about Sy? No, she wouldn’t.

  “Obstacles?” I play dumb.

  “Don’t,” he chides, annoyance flickering across his face. “I see it. Not only in the way you look at her, like a lost child, but also, in the way she guards herself. Not just around you, but all of us. She used to be a bright sunshine type of girl, but it changed.” He circles the bike, pacing like he’s unsure of what to say. “She’s closed off, even with Pilar, and that’s not normal. They’ve always been close. Even closer than her and I.” He returns to his original spot, kneeling in front of me. “I just want to know. With whatever is keeping you guys at a standstill, how do you still be together? How do you not give up?”

  “Are you asking for relationship advice?” I attempt to joke but stop mid-laugh when his eyes obscure. His green eyes are almost laced with venom, and when they darken, it’s terrifying.

  “Just answer the fucking question, boy.”

  Again, something must’ve happened. He’s usually more chummy.

  “I love her harder than whatever she’s holding back. Whatever she’s not putting into us, I double it. I give her my strength. I give her my undying loyalty, and I love her harder,” I describe the best way I can.

  Six months ago, when she hurt me, and then I went to the airport to see her… I thought this dynamic between us would change, that she would change, but it was almost as if Puerto Rico never happened, and we were back in sync. Yes, things were different. They were even stiff and unsure, but as soon as she begged me to move out with her, I hid all of my doubts away.

  She was and always will be my best friend first.

  If that’s all she needs, then I’ll live with it.

  I love her enough.

  “So, you just force yourself onto her? Like force her to reciprocate?” he inquires, biting his lip deviously. The new glint in his eye is as daunting as when he’s angry.

  “Not exactly. I-I just love her enough for the both of us,” I stammer over an explanation that makes sense.

  “Isn’t that the definition of unrequited love?” He raises an eyebrow, sympathy and understanding blatantly displayed on his face.

  The sad tone he’s taken has my chest aching with realization. I rub the spot, like it’s a physical pain to ebb away.

  No, I won’t have this shit bugging me.

  Not him, not them, not this worry about her heart.

  “She loves me,” I add, acting as if he didn’t just ask me the worst question in life. “She’s just mourning someone.”

  “Her father?”

  I shake my head.

  “He’s alive,” I reply almost too quickly.

  As his eyes close in annoyance, I know I’ve hit a nerve.

  “Not for long,” he spits before standing and leaving. “Lock up when you’re done.”

  Should I warn Danté?

  No. You’re done being his bitch. You almost lost Leia.

  And then Venom’s gone, and I’m more confused than before he barged through the door.

  After a few minutes of finagling the rim, the tire finally wobbles free. Sweat drips down my face as I make quick work of his bike. Along with it, my gut churns at the conversation we just had, and it only makes the craving for release stronger.

  Sneaking out the back door, I use a large rock to keep it wedged open. Hopefully no one comes by because leaving the building unguarded is against the rules, especially when I’m the only mechanic around. Hell, I’m not even a mechanic, but sometimes, when Venom is feeling generous, he allows me to pretend. It’s what I want to do. Getting my hands dirty has always been a keen interest.

  I head to my car and dig through the center console for my pack of cigarettes. When my hand finds them, I pull them out and head back to the door. My back rubs against the rocky wall of the shop, and I slide down to sit on the pavement.

  After lighting up a stick, I take a big drag, wishing I didn't have a crutch to deal with shit. I’ve never been one to stress too much. I’m generally the carefree guy, but something about the way Leia hasn’t opened up to me eats away at my sanity.

  I pull out my cell and text her. Wear a nice dress, babe. I’m taking you out tonight.

  Within seconds, I’m receiving a response.

  I don’t want to. Let’s just veg on the couch.

  My stomach sinks at her pass, but tonight, no isn’t an option.

  Already made us plans. Be ready. And don’t wear any panties.

  Dots pop up, as if she’s responding, then stop, then pop up again just to halt completely. After shaking my head, trying not to overthink anything, she responds.

  Who said I’m wearing them now?

  Fuck me. She’s more playful in texts than in person, but I soak up whatever morsels of emotion she offers like a homeless man getting scraps. My dick hardens in my pants, and I suck in another drag, wanting to rush home to finally fuck my girl.

  For that, I’m going to spank your ass. Usually, I’d say more, even taunt her, but I’m having a barrage of doubts and want to keep it simple.

  Throwing my cigarette onto the pavement, smashing it with my boot, I groan. I’ve had recurring blue balls for six months. I’m beyond tortured. Promises, promises, Braxy. See you soon.

  I don’t text her back. Instead, I stuff the phone in my pocket, adjust my aching dick, and head inside.

  Two hours later, I’m ready to head home. After locking up, I slip the keys into the safe box that only the crew has the code to. It’s routine. Now, I’m going to get my girl and show her a fine-ass time.

  When I get to our apartment, my stomach has this nervous energy surging. At first, I thought it was blue balls from anticipation, but it’s nerves from possibly fucking things up. What if I suck? That’s not something I ever worried about when we were both virgins, but I know her and Sy fucked in P.R., and she might like things I don’t know how to do.

  Porn might be educational, but those couples aren’t Leia. They aren’t in love. They aren’t trying to impress their partner. They’re being paid to fuck each other.

  Running a hand through my hair, I look at the huge brick building that holds six apartments, one of them ours. The place isn’t in Cape Hill. It’s right outside the town line, the better part of this tiny area. It’s safer, right out of reach of Sy but close enough to the Vipers that we’re always protected.

  It has charm. The place isn’t large, but it’s perfect for two
kids about to head to college. There are five rows of these buildings, and in the center houses the gym, a pool, and a playground for kids.

  We’re at the opening of the complex, on the third floor of the first building. She wanted a top floor for safety concerns. Since I’m not around while she sleeps, she didn’t want to risk a ground or middle floor apartment, so I caved. When we moved in, I instantly regretted the three flights of stairs. With me being on the outs with Brady, I had to find someone to help. I’d taken several trips already. Then Leia called the Vipers, and the rest is practically history.

  They immediately liked me. The fact that I wasn’t a part of the darker side of Cape Hill and that I’d protect Leia above all else helped.

  It’s like being adopted. It’s better than blood that picks assholes over their own kin. And now, we’re mostly happy.

  I stare a moment longer, taking in the building and how it’s been our home for almost six months. We have to decide if we’re renewing our lease or if we’re moving to Puerto Rico.

  I’m scared for that talk.

  Terrified for the answers.

  Distraught with the gnawing feeling telling me she’ll leave if I push.

  I take the stairs two at a time, and by the last one, I’m ready to cancel the date. Turning the knob of our door, I notice she didn’t lock it. She’s testing my sanity. I’ll have to spank her later for that too.

  She likes when I give her a slap or two on her ass, but it only makes my cock ache more and me desperate to have her. I’m just not willing to force her. She’ll be ready when she’s ready.

  The white walls, sparse of what makes a home a home, greet me. We really need to decorate at some point, especially if we’re staying here. Whenever I look at our lifeless walls, it feels like we’re not really in this together. There are no pictures, no color, and no homely feel.

  As soon as I round the corner to our room, I’m hit with her intoxicating fragrance. She’s always wearing this perfume that mixes with her Leia scent, and it has me nearly ravenous. It’s citrusy, sexy, and all her. It draws me in, making me weak.

  I open the door to our bedroom, finding my girl sitting on the edge of our bed. She’s leaned back, her face one of tumultuous desire.